I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
