I just made out with a guy for $7.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
