I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize