You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
smell my finger.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
