It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
