One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
