He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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