i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
