After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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