I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
