Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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