Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
