I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
