I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
