It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
