Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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