Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
