You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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