Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why are your pants in the freezer?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
