we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
