therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
