normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Boobs speak an international language.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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