You work out of a Hotel?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
