so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Houston, we have a blender
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
