Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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