I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
