we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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