I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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