Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
