Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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