Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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