Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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