True but thats because hes a fetus.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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