I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
