I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
