so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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