i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The power of my boobs compel you
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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