i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
