I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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