you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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