It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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