i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
