Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
