ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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