well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize