she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
