alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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