So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
