the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
