wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
