Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My vagina is officially offended.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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