Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
