I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
