actually, I'm a sock model
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
