Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
