Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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