no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize