I think i peed on brittanys purse
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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