Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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