So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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