did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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