Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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