i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize