I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
