i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
