Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
