he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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