Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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