I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
