after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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