Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?

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(343): View more from Ontario

STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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(517): View more from Michigan

All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.

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(410): View more from Maryland

You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air

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(917): View more from New York City

No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.

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(503): View more from Oregon

we need to find an occasion to wear tutus

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(916): View more from California

Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.

(703): View more from Virginia

But doesn't your shift end at like noon?

(540): View more from Virginia

I don't think you understand.

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(210): View more from Texas

I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet

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