Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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