The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
